Lying is giving false information to deceive others. A lie can take on any shape or form, from omitting details to flat-out falsehood. Lies are impolite and lousy behavior, no matter how common they are. However, to shed some light on the problem, we need to understand why people lie.
Many people lie to protect themselves from unpleasant situations or conflicts. Imagine young children who lie to keep themselves out of trouble. They lie to avoid unpleasant consequences or punishment. The same goes for adults. But when you grow up, really, why do people lie?
Often, people who lie have good intentions. These are white lies, or lies told when a person wants to avoid hurting another person. For some, a white lie is nothing more than an excuse or a reason not to tell the truth. If omitting the fact means keeping someone from being hurt unduly, but the fib causes no damage, people are justified in doing so and see it as necessary.
A lie is an assertion that is believed to be false, typically used with the purpose of deceiving someone. The practice of communicating lies is called lying. A person who communicates a lie may be termed a liar. Lies may serve a variety of instrumental, interpersonal, or psychological functions for the individuals who use them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie
What are the reasons why do people lie?
People who lie may want to protect others’ feelings or spare them from pain or hurt, but they may also lie to protect their feelings, self-confidence, self-esteem, or other personal feelings. Many people lie about where they went or what they bought to maintain a sense of surprise.
A good image is essential to many people, often for work-related reasons. Many people who lie for image purposes do so to cover up a blemish on their work history or avoid providing a valid reason for termination from a previous job.
Having a sense of belonging to a group is vital to everyone, and it is part of our nature to want to be liked. For this reason, people lie. With this type of lie, one might lose individuality and feel incapable of being themselves.
Many people lie to get other people to do what they want. A person who lies to manipulate a situation or other people is often only interested in their gain and disregards their feelings. Lies or omissions can be used to reach a personal goal. If you want to reinforce the right behaviors, you can read the article “What is ethics definition? How can have the best ethics?“.
some tips for helping you stop lying
Take responsibility for your actions.
To learn how to be more honest, you must first admit that you have a problem with lying. You don’t have to tell everyone about your situation, but it’s tough to make changes if you’re not honest with yourself. You will not be able to stop lying if you continue to justify some of the lies you tell internally.
Choose someone in your life with whom you can be completely honest about your lying habit, whether a close friend, family member or mental health professional. Making significant changes one at a time is the best strategy. Choosing one person with whom you will always be honest can help you establish new habits that can eventually help you stop lying much more often.
Identify what triggers you to lie.
What makes you want to tell lies? You should pay attention to yourself and your situation the next time you start lying if you’re not sure. Where are you? Who are you with? How do you feel? Asking yourself these questions can help you understand the ‘why’ behind what leads to lying. Next, think of alternative ways you might have responded. Planning allows you to have an honest response ready in advance when a similar situation arises.
Think about what kind of lie you tend to tell most often.
In general, lies can be divided into four types: white lies by omission, exaggerations, subtle lies, and outright lies. These lies all have their specific reasons for being told. The purpose of white and gray lies is often not to hurt someone’s feelings; lies by omission, exaggerations, and outright lies are more frequently used to avoid putting yourself in a negative light or to hide what could be seen as a wrong decision.
Honesty is the best policy.
People are hard-wired to find ways to meet their emotional needs, such as attention, connection with others, excitement, intimacy, love, meaning, safety, security, self-esteem, and status. The purpose of lying usually is to fill a need that can’t be met any other way. However, lying to obtain fulfillment isn’t authentic or meaningful. It is false because it arises from a lie instead of a place of truth, and it can often be fleeting so that you can find yourself in the same situation repeatedly. You will avoid lying and feel more fulfilled when you find ways to meet your emotional needs in a natural and meaningful way.
Learn how to set boundaries.
Compulsive liars have difficulties setting boundaries because they lack self-control. These problems can affect both your personal and professional lives. Have you ever accepted a friend’s invitation to a party or hung out without really intending to attend? Or, did you ever agree to take on more work when you knew you didn’t have time to complete it? Both of these situations illustrate how you can avoid lying by setting boundaries.
No matter how difficult it may be to set boundaries, having boundaries does not make you a wrong or difficult person. Rather than resorting to lies to make someone feel better or impress your boss, they allow you to be assertive about your own needs. If you’re honest in these situations, you’ll prioritize your well-being while avoiding disappointing your friend or boss.
Think about the consequences.
No matter why people lie lies stack upon one another over time until one can’t keep their stories straight. If you lie to someone, they will realize that you aren’t being honest with them, and you risk losing their reasonable opinion and trust. You may lose friends, break relationships, and miss career opportunities when you do this. Do not be fooled by the appearance of innocence when it comes to lies.
Take it day by day.
In the same way, you wouldn’t expect to learn a new language or play an instrument in a single day. Learning how to stop lying won’t produce immediate results. You shouldn’t get discouraged when things don’t go as planned if you set small goals every day that you know you can achieve.
Make it your goal, to tell the truth in situations where you know you are prone to lying if you tend to say to people that you have more schooling than you have or grew up somewhere other than where you live. If you tell the truth in these situations, eventually, the fact will become as habitual as the lies. You should take things day by day, and don’t get discouraged if you still slip up and lie occasionally.
You aren’t the wrong person if you struggle with pathological lying.
