It’s common to feel like you’re a “bad negotiate”. The idea of negotiation makes many of us feel uncomfortable, anxious, or uneasy. I think these feelings stem from a misunderstanding of what it takes to be a good negotiator. We negotiate at work, with friends, and with family (as a mother of 4 kids, half of our daily conversations are negotiations) in all areas of our lives.
Negotiation is essentially about human interaction. Not dollars and cents, terms and profits. Negotiation is all about building relationships that lead to the best possible outcome. Negotiation is best understood as a parallel journey to problem-solving rather than face-to-face confrontation. The problem we are trying to solve is: How can we work together to achieve better understanding and better agreement?
Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties to reach the desired outcome regarding one or more issues of conflict. It is an interaction between entities who aspire to agree on matters of mutual interest. The agreement can be beneficial for all or some of the parties involved. The negotiators should establish their own needs and wants while also seeking to understand the wants and needs of others involved to increase their chances of closing deals, avoiding conflicts, forming relationships with other parties, or maximizing mutual gains.
The goal of negotiation is to resolve points of difference, gain an advantage for an individual or collective, or craft outcomes to satisfy various interests. Distributive negotiations, or compromises, are conducted by putting forward a position and making concessions to achieve an agreement. The degree to which the negotiating parties trust each other to implement the negotiated solution is a major factor in determining the success of a negotiation.
People negotiate daily, often without considering it a negotiation. Negotiations may occur in organizations, including businesses, non-profits, and governments, as well as in sales and legal proceedings, and personal situations such as marriage, divorce, parenting, friendship, etc. Professional negotiators are often specialized. Examples of professional negotiators include union negotiators, leverage buyout negotiators, peace negotiators, and hostage negotiators. They may also work under other titles, such as diplomats, legislators, or brokers. Negotiations may also be conducted by algorithms or machines in what is known as automated negotiation. In automated negotiation, the participants and process have to be modeled correctly.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negotiation
Some Tactics for Successful Negotiations
I first made a lot of mistakes and learned how to negotiate, and then a lot of good people (especially Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg and Harvard’s Deepak Malhotra, his two) have to say this on the subject. I learned how to negotiate by listening to things that didn’t happen.
The list below is a compilation of strategies I’ve learned from the experts and things that have worked for me in my life. These are the tips I’ve had the most success with. Then keep these in mind as you enter negotiations with the overarching goal of building relationships and solving problems together.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Strategy
I can’t believe how many times people enter negotiations without a strategy. They don’t think about who they are talking to. They didn’t come up with any research or plans. Discuss your strategy with your teammates, coaches, and spouse. You’ll be amazed at the perspectives others have and how they can suggest good arguments and approaches that you might not have thought of on your own.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Know Your Walkaway Points
You need to know what your deal breakers are. Consider what would happen if the other party did not agree. As a result, we often get caught up in what we need and what we want. But also think about what your opponent’s starting point is. Think about what would happen if the other party did not make the transaction. That way, you can find out where your partner is flexible and where they are not. Not all transactions are intended to be made. It’s wise to know your starting point. Once you reach that point, it’s okay to walk away.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Negotiation Process Before Substance
Figure out how to get where you want. Too many people enter negotiations result-oriented and don’t think about the process. Who are the stakeholders that need to be involved? Who are the decision-makers?
You think you’ve done it and you show all your cards and make the best offer, but the other person says, ‘Okay, I have to give this back to my boss. By the way, another process exists. Always make sure you understand the whole process before focusing too much on the result.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Be an Active Listener
If you want your point of view to be acknowledged, first acknowledge the other person’s point of view. Don’t go into negotiations feeling like you have to tell the whole story. You should listen and ask lots of questions.
Try to understand the other person’s scenario. What are those limits? What are their schedules and what are they against? Helps you get good results. By acknowledging the other person’s point of view first, you can fill in the gaps and make them more receptive to your point of view.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Have a “Plan B” Ready
Always ask yourself: If this doesn’t work, where do I go next? What are my next steps? This will prepare you for difficult situations and unexpected consequences. Expect the unexpected. That way, the element of surprise won’t knock you out of the game.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Tell a Story
Don’t just talk in numbers. Whether it’s budget, time, or other constraints, there’s a limit to what you can do in any given situation. If you only go forward with results and don’t tell the other person the story, you might come across as hostile and inflexible. Narration helps everyone get to a good place and a better ending. When you send the email with the final offer, give a description and make a final phone call to have a conversation.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Be Flexible
Make this your negotiating mantra.
I know where I have to go. Flexible in how you get there.
Giving people a choice makes them feel involved in the decision rather than feeling they have to do something. So you have some options. We may not be flexible on pricing, but we are flexible on terms, start dates, etc. Be Creative – There are many ways to get things done.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Watch out for Gender Bias
Gender bias is real and terrible, but when you openly admit it, things start to get better.
If you feel that a woman is “aggressive” in negotiations, ask yourself if she would feel the same way if a man said the same thing.
Remember, gender bias is real and women deal with it every day. Ensure that women in your organization are encouraged and applauded as they negotiate, rather than punished.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Reshape Negotiations to Find Leverage
using something to maximize your advantage – is part of any negotiation. Sometimes you have it, sometimes you lose it, sometimes you get it back.
The best way to regain influence is to listen, ask the right questions, keep the other person’s goals in mind, and make negotiations fewer competitions and more ways for everyone to achieve the best possible outcome.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Avoid Setbacks
Backlash occurs when you over-negotiate and the outcome is not good for either party. “Winning” negotiations can put you on the losing side in important relationships.
People get angry when they feel taken advantage of. If you attack someone too harshly, they will remember that resentment and bring it into the relationship. To avoid this type of kickback:
- Deliver good news in stages, but deliver bad news all at once
- Accept with caution – If you accept too soon, you may regret it
- Relieve your excitement when a trade turns in your favor
Balance your desire to achieve high goals with your need to maintain good relationships. Ultimately, building strong relationships puts you in a better position overall.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Write a Victory Speech
“You will be a hero to your boss.” “Your company will save him $2 million in three years.” “Your team will no longer have to deal with clunky old tools and They will be grateful.”
When writing your opponent’s victory speech, indicate what will happen if they accept the deal. Focusing on what’s good for them (as opposed to what you want) helps them conclude that it’s a good deal.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Tell the Truth
It seems simple, but if your brand and reputation are at stake, they should be mentioned. People like to do business with people they think are honest, so don’t try to be creative, just tell the truth. It will lead to better deals, I promise.
Negotiate with Some Tactics: Build Relationships by Negotiating
Your negotiating partner is not your enemy. They are your partner in achieving the best possible results for everyone. Redesigning your negotiations in this way will stop you from feeling uncomfortable, anxious, or awkward because you’ll realize you already have the internal skills you need to negotiate successfully. If this article was helpful, we suggest you also read the “What Are the Signs of an Intelligent Person” article.